Monday, November 17, 2008

"Report from the front:" A fictionalized account of the events of the last few weeks in my ongoing war with an unwelcome tumor

We are each generals leading our personal battles with cancer. Here's the latest from my battlefield: (WARNING: Fiction Ahead)

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This morning on “Talking with Katie” we have a very special guest: General David Goodwin, who is currently in charge of our troops fighting in the left temporal lobe territory, a region we must hold if w are to win this war, and repel the invader.

K: General Goodwin, first of all, thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to talk with us.

D: Katie, I’m happy to do it. But of course, you’re right, when you say that I have a very busy schedule. In fact, I’m due back at the front lines in 30 minutes. We’ve seen some unusual activity in the Image Interpretation Center, where the essential meaning is extracted from the complex data sent from the field by our two optical sensors.

Our enemy pursues his dark ambitions without pause, and so we must remain ever at the ready, knowing that we may be called into battle at any time.

Another point that I should make clear up front: I hope you will understand that even as we speak, battles rage on several fronts. I must assume that the enemy will view this broadcast as well as our troops and supporters, and so I must answer carefully in some cases. And if you ask me certain questions, such as ones about our strategic plans to win this war, I will be forced to refuse to answer.

But within those limits, please feel free to ask what you like, and I will answer to the extent I can.

K: OK, let’s start with a summary of the current status. In your opinion, are we winning or losing this war?

D: Now Katie, that’s just the sort of question I can’t answer. If I say I think we are losing, it would surely demoralize our troops, precisely when we need them most, to help us over the “rough patch” in the road. And it’s not much better if I say I think we are winning. Then the enemy would be emboldened, thinking we had become complacent.

K: OK, let me rephrase the question: General, could you please summarize any new developments on each of the major battlefronts?

D: Yes, I’ll be happy to do so…

K: Great, … but first, a few important messages from our sponsors…

(to be continued)

4 comments:

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

General Dave,

Psychology plays an important part of war. For example, Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopfbeen said that an enemy feels defeated at the point when only 30% of their forces are removed. Would you care to comment on this?

Cheers,

dab

Baby Dale said...

Hang in there Dave...

Martha said...

Or, to use a basketball metaphor, the opponent feels defeated when, with a lead late in the game, you replace all the starters with freshmen. Continue to bring in all the rookies, Dave! Your bench has "depth"!

Your Carolina fans,
Martha, Don, Emma, and Annie